This year…

This Year by JJ Heller.

They released this video last New Year’s Day (2015) and I’m so glad they did. It fits every new start.

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This year my goal is honesty.

Lately, I’ve been trying to be more honest with myself, as well as those around me. I’ve taken a few big steps in that area, and I intend to take many more. After all, honesty is the best policy!

After I had learned about that phrase as a child, I reminded myself of it absently, but I tried to follow it over the years, but the past few months I’ve been feeling the pressure of needing to be truthful weigh on how I treat myself. I realized not very long ago that I have a tendency to push my own issues aside while I try to handle other people’s issues first, even though I know I can’t and shouldn’t, especially when I have enough pulling at my heart. But here’s the thing. I don’t want to acknowledge my own issues. I’d rather  help other people handle their’s and shove mine into a corner until “I have more time” to deal with it. I don’t want to deal with the pain of past hurts and unresolved issues because I have this idea that it shouldn’t matter to me anymore, so I should simply forget about it and “move on.” 

I realize now that my version of “moving on” just makes the issue harder to deal with later, because instead of facing it, I throw a hand up and ignore it for months, or even years at a time. That’s real healthy, I know.

So I’ve got a lot to learn. I mean, we all do, don’t we? But thanks to my wonderful family, friends, and mentors, I’ve been making small improvements, and I’ve taken many difficult baby-steps to try to get better at this thing called truth.

We’re all a work in progress. I’m realizing as I type this that maybe I’ll never quite be where I think I should be, or where I would like to be in life. Maybe I’ll always be idealizing the next space on which I want to land on the board, but God wants me to hang back for two turns, or quite possibly, jump ahead to a better space.

And to keep to my goal, to be honest with myself, I believe it’s time I try to learn to be joyful right where I am in life, simply because God got me here. Maybe it’s one of those times in which I should linger in the moment and simply soak it in. Because, let’s be real… with God, it’s a pretty great spot, even amid chaos. 

So my New Year’s Resolutions are as follows:

Be honest with myself and with God,

and learn to be joyful where I am. 

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I invite you to reflect on the past year.

I invite you to dream of what this year could hold.

I invite you to learn to love yourself, and love your life tenderly.

I invite you to find what makes your heart sing. 

I invite you along on this journey called life.

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Happy New Year! Let’s make it a beautiful one!