It’s a new year..

It’s a new year…

So what are you gonna do?

Are you going to make the cliche resolutions that people rarely follow though on?

Try to be different and come up with your own resolution that only you understand?

Try to better yourself, or the area around you?

Try to tackle the small flaws, and handle your tasks one at a time for this year?

Try something completely new? Try to find a new hobby?

Try a new style of music? Try a new movie or book genre?

Try a new wardrobe? Try a new hairstyle?

The key thing here is “try.”

What are you going to try this year?

We tend to want to do things. We feel inspired. We see the problem and we want it fixed. We want to be the ones to fix it.

But how often do we truly give our all and try our hardest to achieve these things?

Granted, many of us do try for the big things, but what about the small things?

The things within ourselves. The things in our daily lives that we just accept in the end. What about those? Do we try to work on those as much as we do on the big projects that overwhelm us? I’d venture a no on that.

I know so many people who talk about the things that they want to do or fix, but we rarely go for it because other things are in the way and seem way more important. I know I face this. I want to improve various skills, build portfolios, finish my personal projects, and work on some personal flaws, but there never seems to be enough time. Why’s that?

I feel that, in my case, there are many things that draw the bulk of my attention away from those. I tend to put those desires on the back-burner for years at a time because I feel pressed for time and like all of my effort should go to the things that seem more important. The big things take so much energy, that by the time I can work on the little things, I don’t feel inspired or energized enough to work on them, which is partly why they end up being put on hold for so long. I find myself aching to be more skillful in several areas, but not motivated enough to get there most of the time.

So here’s to the new year! A time to try new things, put more things on hold, and stare at more walls in complete and utter exhaustion!!

I kid, I kid.

In fact, I hope that each of you gets to rest longer this holiday, build up enough energy, and re-inspire yourselves.

I hope you get to tackle the things you want to do.

I hope you don’t overwork yourself on the bigger, seemingly more important things.

I hope you have enough time and inspiration to work on your own desires for once.

I hope you make it a great year and try your best.

I hope that if you fail for any reason, you get back up, try again and don’t feel defeated.

I hope that instead of relying on external factors to improve your year, you find it within yourself to make your year the best it can be.

Good luck out there!

Happy New Year, everyone!

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What is love?

You hear it everywhere, in reference to almost anything out there now.

People always misuse it and abuse the word.

But it’s more than a word.

Love, as described in my Bible, is a strong feeling of affection, loyalty, and concern for someone.

This is a word that I feel should not be overused or abused by us in our daily lives. It’s much more meaningful than most people tend to realize, or care to. This is very unfortunate, because love is extremely valuable and intimate.

At least it should be.

It’s something strong, yet incredibly tender, and quite unshakable. It has the power to morph the most unlikely and unexpected people sometimes. It is something to revel in, but not something to waste. And it is definitely not selfish. It is not something we should try to extinguish because of fear or uncertainties.

It’s not a feeling or experience I want to escape or extinguish. And I don’t want to try to control it according to what I want it to be. I just want to experience it wholeheartedly, revel in it, learn from it, and teach through it.

Wouldn’t you?

We are supposed to desire love. We are supposed to experience it. And we are supposed to remember how it all felt later in life.

God designed it that way. He gave us these unexplainable feelings for a reason, didn’t He? It’s one of His most wonderful gifts to us. We need it, and He wants us to need it and to want it.

So many people attempt to “Swear off” relationships and love in general because they have been hurt one too many times. I understand this.. I have thought that way so many more times than I care to remember.

“Life is simpler without having to deal with relationships…”

“Forget men(/women).. I don’t need them. I have myself, and I have God. I don’t need anyone else.”

“No one else will make it worth it in the end anyway, so forget it.”

“Guys(/girls) are stupid and it won’t go anywhere anyway…”

Sad, isn’t it?

This is one of the many ways in which we lie to ourselves, to try to be our own strength, and our own comfort.

I believe that you shouldn’t get your happiness purely from other people, but I also believe that other people are the ones who tend to make happiness an option throughout our lives together.

An option that will never go away.

I also believe that the desire for human love and affection is almost always within us. It’s basically programmed into us. God designed us to rely on, trust, and love each other.

By denying love and rejecting our own desires for love, we are rejecting an amazing gift from God, in a way. A gift that He has specifically designed for each of us to enjoy throughout our lives.

If you have lost your hope for finding love… trust me, I understand. But don’t completely give up. Don’t let your heart grow cold to the idea. God always has something in the works.

“Your’s will become your favorite love story.”

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Now for me to get personal about it…

For so many years, I’ve been hopeful, and then found disappointment…over and over again… most of us have.

I’ve never been in a full-on relationship, so I started to believe that it wasn’t possible, yet I still wanted it.

Eventually I realized some things that I’ve been doing wrong the whole time.

I first realized that I had been doubting my own worth for the longest time, and I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that I deserved to be treated well.. Guess what happened?

I didn’t treat myself well, and others tended not to either, because I believed that no one would.

After I realized that, I regained some of the confidence that I had been lacking for most of my life thus far.

I was such a destructive thinker for most of the time, that I would barely allow myself to hope for anything more than friendships. I still struggle with doubts of myself, and doubts of how I’ll make any relationship work.

There is also a deep fear of what they may think of my past when they find out about it eventually.

I eventually realized that I need to be vulnerable and genuine with people in order to get anywhere with relationship development. The desire to be genuine with people has deeply rooted itself in my heart recently, and I hope that’s for the better in my relationships.

I also realized that not everyone is always going to be a threat, and not every relationship will be cursed with heartbreak and distrust in the end. I learned that I have to work on trusting others again, and I have recently made substantial progress.

I realized my worth to God, and thus I have also realized my worth to the people around me.

I have started to allow myself to hope for more than just friendships, and I have realized the possibility of falling in love someday, and the possibility that someone can and will eventually fall in love with me.

It can scare me at times, but I am finally hopeful again instead of believing the lies I have told myself for all these years.

And I am beginning to realize that love isn’t as impossible as I once believed.