Feeling alive…

It is often much too difficult…
This.. living in the moment…
Feeling more alive in the now…
I think this is due to humans being habitual…
Therefore  they resort to living in the past or future.
This is a numbing cycle which few have the courage to break.
We are some of that ‘few.’
As hard as it usually is,
It is well worth our trouble.

We long for that passion in life.
We strive for that freedom.
We scramble for that happiness.

The joy we feel when we can feel each small moment as it comes.
The thrill we recieve when we take chances.
The calm we feel when nothing can ruin us.

The beauty of this moment is unlike any dream.

Neverending cycle…

Everyone saw it but them.
Everyone knew they had something remarkable.
Except them.

It was normal to them.
Expected.
But they didn’t know their luck.

Not everyone finds what they already did.
Not everyone sees what they see.
But everyone sees what they don’t.

Who is blind?
Who needs to see the other side?
Who knows the truth?

They all know different halves.
They all look at the same thing.
But all they see is parts of the same whole.

Its a neverending cycle..

Library

Hundreds of books line the shelves.
I have read them all cover to cover.
All but one.
The most important one.
The one in the most ordinary place.
The one I revere the most.

I would often watch her read it in the mornings.
The sun rising up behind her.
Casting warm light throughout the room.
I never peeked over her shoulder to read along.
I never asked her what she was reading.

Something in me knew that this sight was fragile.
Something in me knew that it was sacred.
Something in me knew it was reserved for her.

I am holding that book.
The first words began something new in me.
The first sentences took me to a place far away and long ago.
This book is everything I never knew.
It is everything I never saw in other books.

The night sky

The dramatic, beautiful blue hues gradiating across the horizon.
The stars beginning to peek out at the world.
The silence settling over the hills,
Embracing everyone’s hearts,
Allowing them to see their dreams.
Allowing them to listen to their calm thoughts; settle frantic thoughts.
Allowing them to revisit wonderful memories.

The night sky speaks to one’s heart,
Reminding them of the beautiful parts of their lives.
Reminding them of home and family.
Reminding them of the nights that meant the most in their lives.
Reminding them of love and friendship.
Showing them what could be, and what will be.
Showing them true wonders.
Showing them how to be in awe once again.

It’s killing me.

It’s killing me to see this.
All of the pain in every heart.
And not being able to fix the problems.
I know there is absolutely nothing that I can do that will take the pain away.
I know that God is the only one who can fix this.
But I also know that most people aren’t willing to let Him.

It kills me.
I have been in their place.
I often still am.
But the only things I can do for them is pray and listen.
I wish I could pull them out of it and set them in a better place.
But I know that it is entirely their move.

It is killing me.
I hurt with them.
I hurt because they are stuck where I once was.
They are fighting for their lives.
And all I can do is watch.

…That kills me…

Vulnerablility

They are among the few with whom she is comfortable being vulnerable.
She fears no pity, judgement, or resulting drama.
She just feels.
They feel with her and help her find stability once again.
She used to think she had to appear strong and confident in everyone’s eyes.
No longer.
She only has to be herself.
Not weak.
True to her heart.
Vulnerable.

She waits…

She sits on a bench in the park.
He walked away.
As she had promised,
She stayed behind.
She watched the sun set on another year of waiting.
He watched it set on another day of living.
She waited for his return.
She still waits for him.
Watching the sky change with time.
Watching people live their lives.
Watching her memories of him replay.

Little does she know,
He is waiting on another bench nearby.
Waiting for the perfect moment,
To return to her.

Now it’s me.

I have changed.

Strong.
Expressive.
Determined.
This is me.

Happy in my own skin.
Excited about my dreams.
Willing to drop everything to help.
This is who I am.

Dedicated.
Passionate.
Confident.
That is me.

My ideals for who I wanted to be.
Now it’s me.

I am becoming the person I always hoped I’d be.

This transformation is beautiful.